When Life Gets Messy
Life is always a little less straightforward than we would perhaps like. However, there are times when the winds of change portend more stormy times ahead, and thus seem in equal measure more threatening. At times like these it is all too easy to lose our footing when composure and faith in life have been shaken.
When things get mucky and muddled it’s often difficult to see a path forward, so it is important not to panic, nor add to our misery by becoming impatient with ourselves, or resort to blaming others. The route back to increased composure, sanity and sense requires that we slow down and give ourselves generous amounts of time to process whatever is currently happening in our life. This demands gentleness, courage and a great deal of trust that life will eventually come round to a saner more secure form in time. Our life may not look the same or be configured the same way, but by creating room for pausing, we likewise create room for more refreshing perspectives to make themselves known, thus making a new way forward more apparent.
My tendency when things fall apart is to keep things very simple (though I confess, I’ve rarely found this easy), just one foot in front of the other. Moments of simply slowing down, breathing and feeling, noticing whatever I notice happening inside me with no judgement are essential. This helps keep me a little more grounded in the midst of whatever form chaos may currently be taking in my life. Patience is vital too. We don’t always get what we may want. We’ve all been faced with a lot of things we didn’t want, and painful as those losses have been for me, I’ve come to realize that although they may not seem right, they aren’t really wrong either. They simply are.
Being at peace with the way things are moment to moment isn’t easy, but it is necessary. Being inwardly at peace doesn’t mean one approves of the situation as it is, it is simply a way of accepting the situation; letting the metaphorical silt settle to find a place of calm within the storm. From this place it is easier to think productively and consider next steps with a little more discernment, rather than being endlessly pushed and pulled around by the emotional turmoil of disappointed hopes.
Charting a new course can be a bit daunting, but with care and a renewed sense of fortitude the way forward eventually becomes clearer. In fact, you may find yourself in territory that surprises you with its agreeableness, and better alignment with one’s deeper values and who one is now.
Love and courage.