Constraints
There isn’t a human life anywhere that has not been lived within the confines of built in constraints, which makes a lot of cultural messaging in this age of optimization seem very questionable. The gist of the messaging would have us believe that we can be whatever we dream of being just by committing to it, working hard, and practicing a ‘positive’ mindset. Hmmm. Sometimes, for some people, under certain conditions. On the whole this has always seemed to me darkly reductionistic and, as I’ve gotten older, somewhat puerile and irresponsible.There are huge social forces at work in the world that we have little or no control over, not to mention the presence of good fortune, or the lack of it. Then there is the question of our DNA. Do these not influence and shape things a lot? Of course they do.
But I digress, here I am a bit of an outlier for I have learned that one’s constraints don’t have to be the enemy. Indeed they can be one’s ally leading to a life of unexpectedly deep fulfilment in quarters that at first glance might not necessarily look promising. There is some finesse involved in learning to work well within the constraints of our lives, as it is an act of real creativity, love and devotion. We must shift our attention away from wanting what we don’t have, and become more interested in and curious about what we do have. Making the leap across this divide to the frontier of our lives is critical. It is a practice that can unburden us, and thus simplify our world.
Living more simply is something I’m earnest about, so I am attracted to simple, elegant solutions to almost any problem. When it comes to living well at the frontier of my own life, I find this little dictum useful: Do what you can, where you are, with what you have. This may sound platitudinal to some, but whenever I feel overwhelmed this piece of encouragement acts as a real salve. I regain my focus and am back in touch with the fact that I have agency. It clarifies and supports resilience. It’s a great place to start, the only place actually.
Take an inventory of what you have to create with. After that, it’s advisable to be clear about one’s deep desires asking, “What do I really want?” What comes next is up to you. Don’t be in a hurry. Start small. Give yourself time to process and don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Err on the side of generosity allowing things time to evolve. Relax and enjoy the process of creating.
Life is a bit of a gamble whatever one chooses to do. There’s no getting away from that, try as we might. There are no guarantees. The endeavour, as I’ve outlined it here, is very much a creative process one can approach life with, whatever our circumstances. This injects a sense of freedom and liveliness into things. Proceed with integrity and remember, it’s always a work in progress.
Love and courage.